What Can I do?

Well, A lot of things happened. And it was really scary for me.. I don't feel like I'm in the society.. I felt alone all the time. I have no one when I needed them. Is there a choice for me to choose? Can I not go through all these problems? Why can't my brain function like everyone else? Why are there so many relationship problems in my life? Is this all a test?

Well, that is basically what going through my mind now. I have a lot of things to think of but the most major thing is that I'm going to lose all my friends in one afternoon. How could I preserve it? It was all caused by my own actions. I was being lonely and helpless alone and it is hard for me to find my balance between friends and work. My friends were very hardworking and yeah, sometimes they tend to just do what ever they does and tend to forget I was there.

That is what I think. But, is that really what is going on? Is that really what they done? I don't know.. Being alone made one person think a lot. Overboard a lot. Well, I was thinking that I was being left out and I was being ignored. Well, basically that is the same but why do I have all these feelings? All these things just came to me and I couldn't manage it well. What does people do when they faced all these problems? I tried my best to blend in. Their things were just not my thing.

Is that really true that I am being ignored and left out? I really don't know. I have thought of not coming to NW anymore but could I do it?  No I could not. I could not give up what I've built these whole time. But even so, will they have a distant with me because of this? I am really confused now. They are the true people that I've met and truly, they taught me a lot of things.

Am I just thinking too much? What can I do?